If the fires of passion in your marriage have been reduced nearly to embers, then you are not alone. One of the most common problems that can damage a marriage is the loss of spark…or spice, or whatever you like to call it. It’s really not so easy to get yourself or your partner “in the mood" once you have become very familiar with each other. Of course, it’s wonderful to be familiar with your spouse because familiarity is the basis of intimacy. But intimacy is not the same as passion, is it? Routine is the culprit. If the proper countermeasures are not deployed against routine’s assault on your relationship, then it will drain all the passion right out of your marriage. Routine is a tenacious killer of passion…a suspect in the deaths of over 1 million steamy romances. I know routine comes in very handy for showers and oil changes, but it has no place in the bedroom. Fight it! Fight boredom and routine! It’s going to take a little effort to rekindle those flames, but armed with the right tactics you will succeed! Some of the ideas I will mention may seem rather basic, and most are simple and easy. Just try them. You have already begun to make more of an effort by reading this article; now don’t just think about how nice it would be to do some of these things with your spouse…the only way for this to happen is for you to take action!
Showing posts with label Resources for Married Couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Resources for Married Couples. Show all posts
Romantic Ideas For Busy Couples
Women, the moment they get married, act as if a rose tinted glass is glued to their eyes, – they want everything rosy and peachy for the rest of their lives. Even the women, who work and have lives of their own like to behave as if their world has suddenly become better because of matrimony. Working spouses or those who are career driven often find that, after a few years, the initial euphoria of togetherness has gone. Work keeps them busy all the while, they come home late, gobble whatever is available at home and fall asleep, only to be woken by the alarm the next day. Togetherness, spending time, those sweet nothings that both of them loved to exchange, are all gone for a toss as the mad rush to make a living and to be recognized in the fickle world of the rat race begins. Children, who the world thinks would bridge the gap between the couple, only tend to broaden the divide at times. What should such a career driven, on their toes, 24X7 couple do to keep the romance alive? You need to take it slow once in a while, put a break to your fast paced lifestyle and stop to smell the flowers. Here are some romance tips for busy couples.
Romantic Ideas For Busy Couples
Together We Work
Since you have promised to share everything – the good as well as the trying times, you might as well share work around the house too (yes!). Simple things like doing dishes, making dinner (the woman cooks and the man chops vegetables, for instance), folding up laundry, clearing clutter or doing away with all the junk in the house are only a few examples of the various things a couple can do together so as to be able to spend time with each other. You could run errands together; shop for groceries together, take your child to the paediatrician together and so on. While your hands are busy, you could talk about important topics that centre around the two of you or the family, what you are facing or going through at work and so on.
When You Love Them, Show Them
Most of us fail to establish the fact that communication – verbal and non-verbal – could make all the difference between a failed or a successful relationship. A simple squeeze of the hand, opening the door for her or him when getting into the car or into a restaurant, holding hands while walking in the crowd and so on will only prove to be a reaffirmation of your love for each other. Such habits, which you followed during your courtship years, should not end with the courtship period. This is often a complaint that women make about the men they marry – they forget to do those little things that matter to women most and realise it only when they have either lost a considerable amount of time or they have lost their women! Expressing love without the use of words is the easiest way to get it right for a relationship threatened by careers.
Stay In Touch
Learn this unwritten rule of keeping relationships alive – calling once or twice in a day while at work is not interference or being over concerned! Calling or texting more than five times in a day is, nevertheless, irritating for either of the spouse. Calling on your spouse once or twice in a day is solicitous without being overtly so or causing claustrophobia. It shows that though you are concerned about the other person, you are aware of and respectful of his or her personal space.
Date Me My Friend
So what if you have been married for the last five years? There is no time period after which you should stop celebrating married life. If life isn’t one long honeymoon, which is shared by two individuals, honeymoon in Paris has no meaning. You could just schedule a day for the two of you to be together, send your children to their grandparents’ place and spend some time together – be it a dinner at home or an outing for the weekend.
Source
Romantic Ideas For Busy Couples
Together We Work
Since you have promised to share everything – the good as well as the trying times, you might as well share work around the house too (yes!). Simple things like doing dishes, making dinner (the woman cooks and the man chops vegetables, for instance), folding up laundry, clearing clutter or doing away with all the junk in the house are only a few examples of the various things a couple can do together so as to be able to spend time with each other. You could run errands together; shop for groceries together, take your child to the paediatrician together and so on. While your hands are busy, you could talk about important topics that centre around the two of you or the family, what you are facing or going through at work and so on.
When You Love Them, Show Them
Most of us fail to establish the fact that communication – verbal and non-verbal – could make all the difference between a failed or a successful relationship. A simple squeeze of the hand, opening the door for her or him when getting into the car or into a restaurant, holding hands while walking in the crowd and so on will only prove to be a reaffirmation of your love for each other. Such habits, which you followed during your courtship years, should not end with the courtship period. This is often a complaint that women make about the men they marry – they forget to do those little things that matter to women most and realise it only when they have either lost a considerable amount of time or they have lost their women! Expressing love without the use of words is the easiest way to get it right for a relationship threatened by careers.
Stay In Touch
Learn this unwritten rule of keeping relationships alive – calling once or twice in a day while at work is not interference or being over concerned! Calling or texting more than five times in a day is, nevertheless, irritating for either of the spouse. Calling on your spouse once or twice in a day is solicitous without being overtly so or causing claustrophobia. It shows that though you are concerned about the other person, you are aware of and respectful of his or her personal space.
Date Me My Friend
So what if you have been married for the last five years? There is no time period after which you should stop celebrating married life. If life isn’t one long honeymoon, which is shared by two individuals, honeymoon in Paris has no meaning. You could just schedule a day for the two of you to be together, send your children to their grandparents’ place and spend some time together – be it a dinner at home or an outing for the weekend.
Source
Are we trying to fix our partner's problem?
'Person A was telling person B about her problems at work. Person B listened attentively and patiently while person A talked. At the same, person B was working out something mentally, which might help person A solved her problems. As soon as person A stopped talking, person B started to tell person A what she could do to solve her problems at work.' A typical scenario that can happen between a couple, family members and friends.
The questions are, "Was person A seeking solutions from person B for her problems at work? Or person A simply needed a listening ear?" There are no straightforward answers for this.
This is one common mistake in relationship which I tend to make very often previously. Usually when someone told me his/her problem, I just assumed that I was supposed to fix it. You can guess the frustration when the person said, "I didn’t ask for your opinion or advice." In my mind I was wondering, "Why are you telling me about your problem in the first place when you don’t need my opinion or advice?" I didn’t understand that the person just needed someone to talk to and at time to sympathize with his/her situation.
I have come to realize that we are not expected to fix problems always from books and seminars which I attended. From then onwards, I tried to be a mind-reader; trying my best to grasp what the other person needed. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Wouldn’t it be much easier if the person just tell us what he/she wants?
In the book ‘Finding the Words: Candid Conversations with Loved Ones,’ the author Susan P. Halpern cited a story:
Lester felt inadequate, he realized, when Judy aired her personal concerns. He did not know what to do or say. His impulse was to think up a solution right away. All Judy wanted from Lester was that he listen when she talked about herself. He did not need to fix anything.
Only by telling our partner what we want can the need be met. Judy realised that she only wanted to be listened to. That was it. She wanted to hear herself talk through her issues, maybe get a little sympathy, and she would be fine.
When Lester came up with his great ideas, Judy felt he was saying she was dumb for not thinking of them herself. She felt belittled and dependent. He was the only one who could fix things, she felt.
When she told him that she just needed time to talk and a friendly ear, she felt better and she went on to handle her problems in her own way. Judy had to tell Lester that she just wanted him to listen, and he learned to do just that.
In communication, we not only need to listen attentively, patiently and openly but we also need to convey our thought and need accordingly. Trying to read mind or assuming the need of another is a mistake that cause tension and conflict between a couple, family members and friends. We need to clearly communicate to each other what we want.
Do you always expect solution from your partner when you talk about your problem or most time you just need a listening ear? When you are talking to your partner, how do you communicate what you want to him/her?
SOURCE
The questions are, "Was person A seeking solutions from person B for her problems at work? Or person A simply needed a listening ear?" There are no straightforward answers for this.
This is one common mistake in relationship which I tend to make very often previously. Usually when someone told me his/her problem, I just assumed that I was supposed to fix it. You can guess the frustration when the person said, "I didn’t ask for your opinion or advice." In my mind I was wondering, "Why are you telling me about your problem in the first place when you don’t need my opinion or advice?" I didn’t understand that the person just needed someone to talk to and at time to sympathize with his/her situation.
I have come to realize that we are not expected to fix problems always from books and seminars which I attended. From then onwards, I tried to be a mind-reader; trying my best to grasp what the other person needed. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Wouldn’t it be much easier if the person just tell us what he/she wants?
In the book ‘Finding the Words: Candid Conversations with Loved Ones,’ the author Susan P. Halpern cited a story:
Lester felt inadequate, he realized, when Judy aired her personal concerns. He did not know what to do or say. His impulse was to think up a solution right away. All Judy wanted from Lester was that he listen when she talked about herself. He did not need to fix anything.
Only by telling our partner what we want can the need be met. Judy realised that she only wanted to be listened to. That was it. She wanted to hear herself talk through her issues, maybe get a little sympathy, and she would be fine.
When Lester came up with his great ideas, Judy felt he was saying she was dumb for not thinking of them herself. She felt belittled and dependent. He was the only one who could fix things, she felt.
When she told him that she just needed time to talk and a friendly ear, she felt better and she went on to handle her problems in her own way. Judy had to tell Lester that she just wanted him to listen, and he learned to do just that.
In communication, we not only need to listen attentively, patiently and openly but we also need to convey our thought and need accordingly. Trying to read mind or assuming the need of another is a mistake that cause tension and conflict between a couple, family members and friends. We need to clearly communicate to each other what we want.
Do you always expect solution from your partner when you talk about your problem or most time you just need a listening ear? When you are talking to your partner, how do you communicate what you want to him/her?
SOURCE
How to win your spouse back
It's true that men and women are very different creatures. If you want to learn how to win your spouse back, it is imperative that you fully understand what went wrong. You may find it hard to believe, but almost any relationship/marriage is salvageable. It does not matter what situation you are in right now. There are methods available, some extremely simple, that can put your relationship on the right track again. Without even knowing it, many couples start tearing down their relationship from the very beginning. Well, usually not from the very beginning because there is always that period of romance when we are on our best behavior and the sun rises and sets on that special person in our lives.
Eventually life's stresses and hardships get in the way and the magic seems, well a little less magic. Reality of every day life sets in. Schedules are often hectic, especially if there are children involved. If communicating turns into arguments and battling one another is a daily or even weekly scene, you owe it to yourselves to find a way to change. This might be difficult when egos, selfishness and just plain being stubbornness gets in the way. Seeking alternatives to a divorce should be your number one objective. Many couples have bounced back from troubled relationships that include infidelity, excessive fighting, children issues, not enough quality time, unresolved conflicts, problems revolving around sex or money and more.
We all know that marriage should be a partnership. It is a team where two people work together for the good of their family. Standing behind your partner 100% and building them up rather than tearing them down is crucial. That does not mean that one should give up their goals or be a doormat. Both individuals need to treat each other with respect and be fortified with the knowledge that your mate will be there for you. This goes way beyond "love". Always remember that painful words spoken to one another can never really be taken back. You have enormous power to change your actions and attitudes that will undoubtedly change the dynamics of your marriage.
We all want to fall or be in love and know without a shadow of a doubt that our spouse will always be there for us. Our spouse should be our number one cheerleader. Here are 5 tips to help build a strong marriage:
1. Schedule time together. No television or cell phones. Just listen and talk to each other.
2. Plan a date night at least once a month.
3. Make your spouse a number one priority. This is hard when you also have jobs and children to deal with. There are many little things one can do in a day to let their spouse know that they are important.
4. Strive to have meals together.
5. Make time for intimacy. Nothing binds couples together more than physical intimacy.
If your marriage is already in danger of divorce, starting these tips now may not be possible or even the answer to your problems. However, I want to reiterate that it is never too late to build a strong relationship and bring it back from the brink of disaster. Work is needed on both sides, but you can learn how to win your spouse back no matter how difficult the situation is. Change the vicious cycle that started your marriage down the path of destruction.
Please know that couples do this everyday. Take the very important first step to find out what is needed to save your marriage or relationship and make it even stronger than you ever thought possible. Take care and rest easy knowing there is help for you. I wish I had this resource years ago. I strongly urge you to learn how to win your spouse back.
By Cathi Zimmerman
Eventually life's stresses and hardships get in the way and the magic seems, well a little less magic. Reality of every day life sets in. Schedules are often hectic, especially if there are children involved. If communicating turns into arguments and battling one another is a daily or even weekly scene, you owe it to yourselves to find a way to change. This might be difficult when egos, selfishness and just plain being stubbornness gets in the way. Seeking alternatives to a divorce should be your number one objective. Many couples have bounced back from troubled relationships that include infidelity, excessive fighting, children issues, not enough quality time, unresolved conflicts, problems revolving around sex or money and more.
We all know that marriage should be a partnership. It is a team where two people work together for the good of their family. Standing behind your partner 100% and building them up rather than tearing them down is crucial. That does not mean that one should give up their goals or be a doormat. Both individuals need to treat each other with respect and be fortified with the knowledge that your mate will be there for you. This goes way beyond "love". Always remember that painful words spoken to one another can never really be taken back. You have enormous power to change your actions and attitudes that will undoubtedly change the dynamics of your marriage.
We all want to fall or be in love and know without a shadow of a doubt that our spouse will always be there for us. Our spouse should be our number one cheerleader. Here are 5 tips to help build a strong marriage:
1. Schedule time together. No television or cell phones. Just listen and talk to each other.
2. Plan a date night at least once a month.
3. Make your spouse a number one priority. This is hard when you also have jobs and children to deal with. There are many little things one can do in a day to let their spouse know that they are important.
4. Strive to have meals together.
5. Make time for intimacy. Nothing binds couples together more than physical intimacy.
If your marriage is already in danger of divorce, starting these tips now may not be possible or even the answer to your problems. However, I want to reiterate that it is never too late to build a strong relationship and bring it back from the brink of disaster. Work is needed on both sides, but you can learn how to win your spouse back no matter how difficult the situation is. Change the vicious cycle that started your marriage down the path of destruction.
Please know that couples do this everyday. Take the very important first step to find out what is needed to save your marriage or relationship and make it even stronger than you ever thought possible. Take care and rest easy knowing there is help for you. I wish I had this resource years ago. I strongly urge you to learn how to win your spouse back.
By Cathi Zimmerman
Marriage-saving gadgets
What makes a marriage stronger? Sure, a romantic weekend away or a fancy dinner out is nice, but cutting down on the everyday annoyances that cause strife goes a long way, too. Take a hint from these couples. They turned to a simple product or device to help them solve an exasperating problem—and drew closer as a result. Check out eight gadgets that can help you and your marriage.
Marriage saver: Heating blanket
HE: Is always cold
SHE: Is always hot
SOLUTION: "We got a heating blanket last year, and it has made us both less cranky. The blanket stays on my side. It has stopped my whining about how cold I am—which was irritating him."—Lauren Gard, 32, Oakland, Calif.
Marriage saver: Sleep mask
HE: Loves to go to bed early
SHE: Loves to stay up late
SOLUTION: "We used to argue over the lights. He’d go around shutting them off, and I’d follow behind, turning them back on. So I asked him to put my sleep mask over his eyes. That suggestion changed our lives—it’s a miracle mask!"—Lesley Dwyer, 33, Sarasota, Fla.
Marriage saver: TV sleep timer
HE: Sleeps with the TV on
SHE: Can't sleep if it's on all night
SOLUTION: "We have a TV in our bedroom with a timer setting. When [my husband] is in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I grab the remote and set the timer, and he is none the wiser! I set it for the amount of time it takes him to drift off to sleep. Then the TV clicks off, and we are both happy and getting good rest!"—Cathi Carpenter, 44, Marietta, Ga.
Marriage saver: GPS
HE: Drives on road trips
SHE: Is a backseat driver
SOLUTION: "I have trouble knowing north from south, east from west. To stop the arguing and save our relationship, we bought a GPS device. It turned out to be one of the best purchases we’ve made. We arrive at our destination with a lot less aggravation."—Enid Schwartz, 65, Sierra Vista, Ariz.
Read more..
Rediscover your mate
Many couples begin drifting by becoming caught up in the various distractions of life: getting kids to soccer practice, cooking meals, care of the home and even church life. Slowly, inexorably, drift happens.One day, you notice the change. You look across the table at your mate seated across from you, and don’t feel anything. You’re not attracted to him/her. You’re not excited to be with him/her. You wonder where the feelings have gone. But, if you’re like most other couples, you do nothing.
Here are some tips written by Dr. David Hawkins to rediscover your mate:
1. Become intentional about rediscovering your mate. Learning about anything takes an initial decision and intentionality. When we make a solid decision on anything, we set aside time, determine what we want to accomplish, set specific goals, and follow through. Talk to your mate about a decision to become best friends again.
2. Cultivate an inquisitiveness and curiosity about your mate. Even if you don’t feel interested at the start, you can cultivate an interest in your mate. While you may sense they aren’t the same person you married, you aren’t the same either. These changes and differences can now be a source of interesting discovery. If you sense you don’t know them, don’t fret. In many ways, this can make the experience all the more interesting.
3. Experiment with new experiences. The foremost creator of boredom is an absence of sensual experiences. It is very difficult to be bored when our senses are awake and alive. Recently my wife, Christie and I went away for the weekend. We left work behind, slept in, went to the movies, out to dinner, and even wandered around a bookstore. We worked out at a gym, browsed the local shops. And we talked about these experiences. Our buckets were filled with experiences, excitement of our senses, and simply being available to each other.
4. See annoyances in a new light. Yes, your mate is different from you. They laugh different, think different, even believe different about things. These differences are not a hurdle to overcome, but aspects to be appreciated. Don’t try to coax your mate to be more like you, but see differences through new eyes as sources of new energy for your relationship.
5. Give one another feedback on your experiences. Learning to date again is really a matter of trial and error. In the early days of dating, you gave each other consistent feedback on your experiences. You based future decisions on earlier ones. If something was exciting, you did it again. If it was less than exciting, you changed directions. The same applies today. You and your mate are fully capable of awakening your excitement for each other, but it will take trial and error, seeking experiences you both find pleasurable.
Maintaining the “Magic” in Marriage
As i've promised here's another romantic tips for married couples. This is written by By Jim Burns of HomeWord.
Keep saying “I love you.” These three little words are very powerful! Few people, if any, tire of hearing that they are loved. When you say “I love you” do your best to be giving your spouse your full attention. Make sure you mean it when you say it!!Provide genuine, meaningful affirmations regularly. “Gee, your hair smells terrific” may be appropriate, but affirmations like “You do so much to keep our family working. I can never thank you enough for all you do” are more powerful and meaningful for making your spouse feel special. Affirmations come in all shapes and sizes: from verbal affirmations given in-person, to voicemail or e-mail messages to notes and cards.Create and maintain a regular, non-negotiable date night – just for you and your spouse. (By the way, this means time away from the kids – and other friends.) Relationships need one-on-one nourishment to stay healthy. A regular date night can provide the quality and quantity of time needed to keep your relationship with your spouse strong.Take a vacation together. Same idea as the regular date night noted above. A vacation with your spouse will provide you with more time to focus on one another and will give you opportunities to rekindle the romance in your life!Give your spouse veto-power over your schedule. This empowers your spouse and sends a message that they are special. It acknowledges the fact that your spouse is a partner with you in life – not just another person making demands on your time.Work together to learn more about marriage. Go to marriage retreats or conferences. Read books on marriage together and discuss what you’ve read. You are never too old – or have been married too long – to work on improving your marriage.Buy your spouse flowers or gifts. Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, but should be simple reminders of how special your spouse is to you. Keep these gifts personal, rather than practical!Surprise your spouse. For example, kidnap your spouse from work and do something you know they would enjoy. (Be sure to check with your spouse’s boss – if they have one!) Give gifts or flowers at totally unexpected times.If you travel, try to communicate with your spouse everyday while you are away. Phone calls are best, followed by voicemails and e-mails. If you want to keep your spouse feeling special, don’t make comments like “This is the best time I’ve ever had in my life” even if it is. “I really miss you” works much better!
Re-energize your marriage
Tired of Marriage? Start Dating by Dr. Alan Stafford
When the romance has trickled out of your marriage and each day seems to blend in to the next, try these easy ways to re-energize your marriage and your love life.
Start by thinking back to your dating days. If dating was fun, but marriage has become routine-start dating again. Of course, I mean start dating your spouse. Think of him as your lifetime date. Do all the fun things you did when you were deciding whether to marry him. What did you do for fun? Did you play sports, go out to dinner, or go shopping? Make dating your spouse a priority. Fit these activities back into your schedule.
Plan a date night for once a week. If you don't have any kids, your schedules are probably pretty full. Schedule date night in advance, the same as you would for any other social or professional meeting. If you do have children, hire a babysitter to come over on the same night every week. This will save you from having to find a babysitter every time you want to go out. And, it will strengthen your commitment to date night. For example, plan to have the sitter come over every Thursday, but tell her not to call before arriving. This puts the burden on you to cancel and removes one of your excuses for not keeping the date. By planning ahead, very little effort is involved in the preparation of date night. This makes it much more likely you will get out of the house and keep the promise you made to each other.
When you go out for your date, do something that renews your bond. Watching a movie or going to a concert may be fun, but they don't give you the opportunity to talk to one another. If you decide to see a movie, follow it up with dessert or coffee. There's value in just sitting alone together, face to face, and talking.
Your date night should be all about you and your partner so don't invite friends or family. And definitely leave the kids at home! Allow yourselves enough time to make a night of it. If you schedule only an hour or two out of the house, you will be limited to doing the same thing every date night. Opening up the evening allows you to try new things and decreases the stress of having a curfew.
Since you'll be dating about three or four times a month, make sure to try new things. Go out to dinner at a new restaurant, go out for coffee, play a board game, go dancing, go for a picnic, go for a bike ride or a swim. The possibilities are limited only by your imaginations. If you get stuck for ideas, try this: each person sets the agenda for alternate date nights. For example, your husband plans the next date night. He makes all the decisions about what, where, when. But, he doesn't tell you. You get to wonder all week what the date will be. And then on date night, let him be your Master of Ceremonies. You don't get to complain or criticize-just go with the flow. The following week, it's your turn. This keeps some surprise and excitement in the dates because even weekly date nights can get routine.
What you do on date nights is not important. What is important is that you are together. Bonding, reconnecting, sharing. And reliving for just a few hours each week, those happy times when you were single but wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person. Well now it is the rest of your life. Keep the romance alive; keep the fun alive. Make your marriage a lifelong date.
When the romance has trickled out of your marriage and each day seems to blend in to the next, try these easy ways to re-energize your marriage and your love life.
Start by thinking back to your dating days. If dating was fun, but marriage has become routine-start dating again. Of course, I mean start dating your spouse. Think of him as your lifetime date. Do all the fun things you did when you were deciding whether to marry him. What did you do for fun? Did you play sports, go out to dinner, or go shopping? Make dating your spouse a priority. Fit these activities back into your schedule.
Plan a date night for once a week. If you don't have any kids, your schedules are probably pretty full. Schedule date night in advance, the same as you would for any other social or professional meeting. If you do have children, hire a babysitter to come over on the same night every week. This will save you from having to find a babysitter every time you want to go out. And, it will strengthen your commitment to date night. For example, plan to have the sitter come over every Thursday, but tell her not to call before arriving. This puts the burden on you to cancel and removes one of your excuses for not keeping the date. By planning ahead, very little effort is involved in the preparation of date night. This makes it much more likely you will get out of the house and keep the promise you made to each other.
When you go out for your date, do something that renews your bond. Watching a movie or going to a concert may be fun, but they don't give you the opportunity to talk to one another. If you decide to see a movie, follow it up with dessert or coffee. There's value in just sitting alone together, face to face, and talking.
Your date night should be all about you and your partner so don't invite friends or family. And definitely leave the kids at home! Allow yourselves enough time to make a night of it. If you schedule only an hour or two out of the house, you will be limited to doing the same thing every date night. Opening up the evening allows you to try new things and decreases the stress of having a curfew.
Since you'll be dating about three or four times a month, make sure to try new things. Go out to dinner at a new restaurant, go out for coffee, play a board game, go dancing, go for a picnic, go for a bike ride or a swim. The possibilities are limited only by your imaginations. If you get stuck for ideas, try this: each person sets the agenda for alternate date nights. For example, your husband plans the next date night. He makes all the decisions about what, where, when. But, he doesn't tell you. You get to wonder all week what the date will be. And then on date night, let him be your Master of Ceremonies. You don't get to complain or criticize-just go with the flow. The following week, it's your turn. This keeps some surprise and excitement in the dates because even weekly date nights can get routine.
What you do on date nights is not important. What is important is that you are together. Bonding, reconnecting, sharing. And reliving for just a few hours each week, those happy times when you were single but wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person. Well now it is the rest of your life. Keep the romance alive; keep the fun alive. Make your marriage a lifelong date.
The Importance of Keeping the Romance Alive in Your Relationship
Are you married or do you currently live with you partner? For many couples, marriage or cohabitation, often spells trouble for many relationships. While there are a number of different reasons for the cause of this common issue, it is often attributed to a lack of romance. To help you keep your relationship with your live-in partner or your husband going strong, it is important to keep the romance in your relationship alive.
As nice as it is to hear that you should keep the romance alive in your relationship, you may be wondering exactly how you should go about doing so. When creating romance in your relationship, it is important to know that not all couples are the same. For that reason, you may want to keep your partner’s wants, needs, or interests in mind. This is another key to having a happy and healthy relationship, compromise.
One of the best ways to keep romance alive in a relationship is actually quite a simple concept. That concept is affection. Unfortunately, many couples get into a groove where they just become comfortable with their daily life. This often leads many couples not to hold hands anymore, kiss, or even talk about their day. It is important that you do not let your relationship get to this point, as it often spells trouble. As much as possible, you will want to express your love and appreciation for your live-in partner or spouse, both in action and in words.
It is also important to get out of your house. As with showing affection, many couples, after a period of time, stop going out on dates. Whenever you have a free evening, you may want to consider going on a date. What is nice about dates is that just about any activity can be considered a date. For instance, you can go out to dinner, see a movie, or go have a few drinks at a local bar. All of these activities can be viewed as a date. Social interaction, both with each other and with other couples, is important to the health of a relationship. For that reason, you and your partner should get out and socialize.
As previously stated, a relationship is all about compromise. Compromise is also a way to keep the romance alive in your relationship. As compatible as you and you partner or spouse may be, you may still have a few differences. Often times, these differences show on date nights. When it comes to going on a date or just doing a simple activity with your partner, it is advised that you comprise as often as possible. This may include having alternate date nights. For instance, if your husband wanted to attend a baseball game, you can agree to do so, as long as he agrees to go the movies with you next time.
As outlined above, there are a number of different ways that you can go about keeping the romance alive in your relationship. As difficult as love and romance may seem, it is important that you put forth the extra effort. Not feeling enough support is an issue that the two of you can resolve, but divorce may not be. That is why it is important to not let it get to that point.
This article was shared to me by my friend.
Life insurance for married couples
A great way for a married couple to save on insurance premiums is to get a joint life insurance. A joint life insurance policy covers two or more people and is a good option for married couples that need financial protection for the surviving spouse. It can be a term insurance contract or a whole life insurance contract.
The premiums for this type of policy are typically less expensive than if two separate policies were purchased and for the same amount of coverage. This is a great way for a married couple to save on insurance premiums while still having the death benefit that they each need for the surviving spouse.
Shopping for life insurance can be an arduous task, but with a little work you can easily find the policy that will best benefit your entire family. If you are married, you should see how much you can save by getting a joint policy, rather than two coverages
Weekend inspirations: God created marriage
God created marriage,
for he knew we'd need a friend.
To share our hopes and dreams with,
and love us 'till the end.
God created marriage,
to teach us how to share.
All our earthly assets,
and make us more aware;
That someone else's feelings,
are more important than our own.
And not one of us is perfect,
so we can't cast a stone.
God created marriage,
to teach us to forgive.
His life was our example,
He showed us how to give.
God created marriage,
to teach us how to say.
"I love you" to another person,
each and every day.
Written By Valerie Rousseau
Keeping the Romance Alive in Marriage
by Katherine Kehler
“Honor Christ by submitting to each other” (Ephesians 5:21).
Marvin and I have been married for over 47 years. We have lived, slept, worked, played, prayed, traveled and eaten together for that many years.
Marvin travels at least 30 percent of each year – probably more. When he is away, he calls me most evenings and his voice still thrills me. I still think he has the most wonderful smile in the world, a calm, gentle voice and the friendliest eyes. And I still love his touch.
What do we do to keep the romance alive in our marriage?
First I’ll tell you what he does to keep our romance alive, then I’ll tell you what I do to keep our marriage interesting and exciting.
He does and says kind things. He tells me many times a day that he loves me and that I am beautiful. He kisses and hugs me a lot. At night, because he knows I like to take a bath, the bathwater is usually in the tub and the room is nice and warm before I get to the bedroom. He often brings me flowers. He opens doors for me. When in a group meeting he winks at me. I know I am special to him and it still gives me a thrill.
He supports and affirms me in the ministry God has called me to.
What I do to keep our interest in each other?
I cook his favorite meals - especially after a trip when he has been eating in restaurants for days. I keep his clothes in A-1 condition so he is always ready to meet anyone. I tell him he is handsome and looks sharp. I take care of many of the small housekeeping details at home so he doesn’t have to concern himself with them. I affirm him in leadership abilities, his wisdom and discernment.
Some evenings when we are at home alone and watching TV or a video; I will put my head on his lap. He likes me to touch him and kiss him when we are alone.
In public places, a touch or squeeze on the arm communicates, “I love you!” without saying a word. When he is relaxing and has his feet up, I never walk by without tickling his feet.
We have fun. We laugh a lot.
We have spiritual discussions. Over breakfast we usually discuss what God has pointed out to us during our quiet times and we pray together.
We work at trying to please each other rather than insisting on having our own needs met.
Our love for each other is still growing and glowing. You see, romance doesn’t start in the bedroom; it begins first thing in the morning. The way you greet each other in the morning, how you treat and talk to each other during the day. Then when you go to bed, it is natural to want to snuggle.
Try some of these tips – maybe they will help ignite or strengthen the romance in your marriage as well.
Fireproof Your Marriage Couple's Kit
Here's the product description:
Fireproof Your Marriage includes these six sessions:
Fireproof Your Marriage will challenge you to love better, to love first and to love for a lifetime! Founded on Biblical principles, this six session in-home study is a great way for you and your spouse to build and strengthen your marriage. The Fireproof Your Marriage study integrates movie clips from FIREPROOF, along with key Scriptures, thought-provoking questions and devotionals, including concepts from The Love Dare book. The Couple’s Kit includes a six-session DVD and two Participant’s guides.
Also makes a great wedding or anniversary gift!Fireproof Your Marriage includes these six sessions:
- He Said/She Said—appreciating the God-designed differences between men and women
- He First Loved Us—God’s love for you and how it enables you to love others
- Love for a Lifetime—marriage as a lifelong covenant
- Breaking Free—freeing yourself from temptations that can destroy a marriage
- Forgiveness—offering and receiving forgiveness
- A Better Way of Loving—unconditional love
Love Advice: Spice up your marriage
Time to spice up your marriage?Starting to feel some withdrawal when it comes to some quality loving from your partner? You need not fret, get some free love advice and you will do fine.
There are loads of things that you can do to spice up your marriage and it doesn't have to be completely grand and extravagant. All you need is some creativity on both your sides and you're sure to have some good times together. Here's some free love advice that you can do.
One way to spice up your marriage is to do all your ordinary chores and activities into the next level of sexiness.Introduce a little innuendo in your activities and make sure that your partner is tuned into you.
Discover the kitchen
You could be cooking and you can touch, stroke and do all sorts of things with the stuff found in your kitchen. A table could be very useful. More so, getting into activities together, such as cooking, can be a very sensual experience. When you engage all your senses, making you and your partner aware of each other, you're already creating the platform for more fun and sexy times later.
Groom
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to let yourself go. Clean up by brushing your hair, maybe even getting a new haircut, or change your body wash, and even take care with the clothes that you wear. Remember that keeping the attention of someone hinges on their awareness of you. To make them aware of you, you'll have to distinguish yourself by taking care of your person.
Touch
Touching is very important in relationships. Humans are primarily tactile creatures. It reinforces care and the bonds of love. Always give hugs and kisses, stroke your partner's nape and hair, and as cheesy as it may come, hold hands. Some free love advice may just about cost you a lot of money by buying into miracle cures and drugs, but getting back into basics can go a long way because it will remind both of you with the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
Act like teenagers
Nobody is too old to be cuddly and romantic. Fool around and be adventurous when it comes to trying new things. Try eating foods that are known to be aphrodisiacs like oysters and chocolates. You can try doing some partner yoga which will help you both become limber and make the sex longer and hotter.
Speaking of the previous, sex
Sex is always important in a relationship. Sex reinforces relationships and also makes marriages fun and romantic. The advantage of being in a married state is that you're both in a place where you can appreciate intimacy in its purest form. You can spice up your marriage by trying different positions and adding some measure of kinky in your sex life. Games and role playing can be very arousing.
These are just some free love advice that you can do on your own.
If you agree with your partner to invent new games in your bedroom your relationship will reach a higher level and you both will create the best relationship ever.
Get more Free Love Advice from Wessley Monroe.
God will help you to rekindle the flame
When you care more about pleasing yourself than pleasing your mate, your marriage is in trouble. Most marriages fail for one reason; selfishness. 'Just give me a few more months. I'll have this project at work behind me and things will get back to normal.' How many wives have heard this from their husband when they try to let him know they need more of his time and attention? And what happens? The project gets finished and he gets involved in something else just as demanding.
Because her needs keep going unmet, hopelessness and resentment set in and she forms a protective shell. Often at this point the husband is clueless. He says things like, 'I work hard. I bring my money home. I'm not running around on you.' And then the big one: 'I'm doing all this for you.' But his wife didn't marry a business or a wage packet, she married him. And there is absolutely nothing he can do to replace himself in her life, no matter what he gives her. That's why when many couples had less, they had everything because they had each other. Now they have everything, but they have nothing. Once that hard shell forms it's hard to penetrate. And worse, the statistics of divorce prove that very few men have the patience to do it. That's when they get attracted to other women; but the flame of love can melt that hard shell. If you start where you are and commit yourself to loving your wife [or husband] all over again, God will help you to rekindle that flame.
Thanks to The Vine for this wonderful message.
Ten lies that lead to divorce
Family therapist Dr. Linda Mintle and author of the book "Divorce Proofing Your Marriage" offers a brief overview of ten common lies people embrace that eventually leads to divorce so you can do your own self-check.
Lie #1: Marriage is a contract.
Yes, marriage is a legal contract, but in God’s eyes it is much more. The truth is marriage is a covenant, an unbreakable promise. It is life commitment. It means “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” It means loving someone when you don’t feel like it, staying faithful, and working through difficulty and bad times.
Lie #2: I married you, not your family.
The truth is you don’t marry just your spouse; you get her family as a package deal! Don’t kid yourself and think the outlawed in-laws don’t matter. Your spouse grew up in a family that taught her how to be who she is today. Yes, there are other influences and people can change, but family is a primary force in the development of any individual.
Lie #3: I can change my spouse.
Wrong! The fact that she's continually late or her apartment is a mess is not likely to change because of your undying love. Pay attention to the red flags you see during the dating relationship, especially the more serious ones, such as drinking too much, violent temper, promise breaking, etc. Chances are these things won't improve but worsen after the honeymoon is over. The truth: all you have control over is your reaction to your spouse. That's the only part you can change.
Lie #4: We are too different.
Differences are not a major problem as long as the differences are not about life values and morals. Incompatibility doesn't kill a relationship. The real issue is how you handle your differences. You need compatible styles that work for both people. Some differences are unsolvable and couples need to learn to accept those. And the Bible gives clear guidelines on how to deal with conflict in a Christ-like way.
Lie #5: I've lost that loving feeling and it's gone, gone, gone!
Intense passion doesn't last forever but love can stay for a lifetime. You may not always feel love but you must determine to love your partner as yourself. The loving feeling dwindles when couples lock into negative patterns that lead them away from each other. Criticism moves to contempt and highly defensive behavior that eventually leads to emotional distance. The truth is you can restore that loving feeling with a number of changes. One is to make five positive statements to your spouse for every negative one. Other changes focus on building friendship and support. I don't doubt when men tell me they no longer feel love for their wives. I just want them to understand that loving feelings can be rekindled.
Lie #6: A more traditional marriage will save us.
Out of frustration, many men feel that if their relationship could be more like the Brady Bunch couple, life would be happier. They are confused about gender roles and responsibilities. Submission is a misunderstood and often abused concept. God's intention for marriage is gender equality. On two occasions, God revealed His will on earth concerning gender--in the Garden and in the life of Christ. Look to those examples of how men and women should interact. You will find that no matter how you negotiate the relationship, you need mutual submission, respect, honor, empowerment and empathy.
Lie #7: I can't change--this is who I am: take it or leave it.
An unwillingness to change is rooted in rebellion. It's doing things your way versus God's. To say you can't change obviates the entire Christian experience of salvation and change of heart. Yes, we are always striving for perfection but the operative phrase is that we should be striving. This requires a willingness to look at your behavior and work towards being more like Christ. If both spouses in marriage would do this regularly, divorce would be less prevalent. Change doesn't happen when you don't embrace it. You can change but it requires desire, obedience and Holy Spirit driven power.
Lie #8: There's been an affair. We need to divorce.
Affairs are serious and damaging but they are not beyond repair if both spouses agree to try. There must be a commitment to cut off the affair, a time of repentance, forgiveness and a rebuilding of the relationship. The covenant has been broken but can be restored if a couple chooses to do so. It's not easy but possible.
Lie #9: It doesn't matter what I do: God will forgive me.
God will forgive you if you repent but it does matter what you do. Your behavior has natural, as well as spiritual consequences so don't cheapen God's grace.
Lie #10: It's too broken.
If you've given up, the future looks hopeless, you've grown apart, can't manage conflict, made a mistake or whatever the problem, believe that God can work when you can't. He can change hearts, do miracles and work in the most difficult circumstances. He is the God of the possible. Draw close to Him, intercede for your marriage, do battle with your true enemy (Satan) and expect God to work on your behalf.
If you and your partner stay intimately connected to God, your marriage will reflect that intimacy. Divorce doesn't have to happen. Recognize the cultural lies that influence you and counteract them with biblical truth. No marriage is beyond the probability of divorce but you can be proactive in preventing it. It's time to improve on the divorce statistics and divorce proof your marriage.
More Marriage articles on CBN.com
Creative Dating Ideas for Married Couples
Time to share some tips for married couples. Here are 12 Creative Dating Ideas for Married Couples:
Thanks to Jim Burns of CBN.com for these tips.
- Go for a walk
- Work on a jigsaw puzzle
- Play a board game
- Play “hide and seek”
- Cook together
- Have an overnight campout in your yard
- Participate in community service or mission
- Get some exercise
- Find some quiet space and listen to music
- Learn a new hobby together
- Fly kites
- Write poems and read to each other
Thanks to Jim Burns of CBN.com for these tips.
Surviving an Affair
Infidelity is one of life's most painful experiences in a marriage. Once trust is broken, the couple finds it hard to reconcile again. How to survive the affair is a difficult thing to do, but it is possible. You can get some insights and help from the book Surviving an Affair written by Drs. Harley and Chalmers. They describe the most common types of affairs, the reasons they begin and end, the best way to end them, and the best way to restore marriage after an affair. But most importantly, they help readers survive the entire ordeal by providing them with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for a loving and trusting marital relationship.
Fireproof movie
As I’ve mentioned yesterday I will have a new format on my blog and here’s my first post about the topic love and relationship. I would like to share the movie we watched last July it’s about a couple whose marriage is on the rocks. The movie is entitled Fireproof. I think many Christian churches are using this movie when they conduct seminars for married couples. Couples will learn a lot from this movie, especially those who are in the same situation.
So what's this movie all about? Fireproof is an action-packed love story about a firefighter and his wife…and a marriage worth rescuing. Divorce seems like the only answer for Catherine, a young wife whose fire chief husband, Caleb, can save everything but their marriage. A powerful challenge from a book called "The Love Dare" brings Caleb to his knees. To Catherine’s surprise, he valiantly fights to reignite the flame of passion she thought was gone forever.
Below are photos of Bishop Jonel Milan, a known marriage counselor in radio station 702 DZAS here in the Philippines. After watching the movie he gave inspiring message, tips and advice for the couples.
Below are photos of Bishop Jonel Milan, a known marriage counselor in radio station 702 DZAS here in the Philippines. After watching the movie he gave inspiring message, tips and advice for the couples.
This movie is available in DVD, you can grab a copy at CBN.com
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