Rediscover your mate

Many couples begin drifting by becoming caught up in the various distractions of life: getting kids to soccer practice, cooking meals, care of the home and even church life. Slowly, inexorably, drift happens.

One day, you notice the change. You look across the table at your mate seated across from you, and don’t feel anything. You’re not attracted to him/her. You’re not excited to be with him/her. You wonder where the feelings have gone. But, if you’re like most other couples, you do nothing.

Here are some tips written by Dr. David Hawkins to rediscover your mate:

1. Become intentional about rediscovering your mate. Learning about anything takes an initial decision and intentionality. When we make a solid decision on anything, we set aside time, determine what we want to accomplish, set specific goals, and follow through. Talk to your mate about a decision to become best friends again.

2. Cultivate an inquisitiveness and curiosity about your mate. Even if you don’t feel interested at the start, you can cultivate an interest in your mate. While you may sense they aren’t the same person you married, you aren’t the same either. These changes and differences can now be a source of interesting discovery. If you sense you don’t know them, don’t fret. In many ways, this can make the experience all the more interesting.

3. Experiment with new experiences. The foremost creator of boredom is an absence of sensual experiences. It is very difficult to be bored when our senses are awake and alive. Recently my wife, Christie and I went away for the weekend. We left work behind, slept in, went to the movies, out to dinner, and even wandered around a bookstore. We worked out at a gym, browsed the local shops. And we talked about these experiences. Our buckets were filled with experiences, excitement of our senses, and simply being available to each other.

4. See annoyances in a new light. Yes, your mate is different from you. They laugh different, think different, even believe different about things. These differences are not a hurdle to overcome, but aspects to be appreciated. Don’t try to coax your mate to be more like you, but see differences through new eyes as sources of new energy for your relationship.

5. Give one another feedback on your experiences. Learning to date again is really a matter of trial and error. In the early days of dating, you gave each other consistent feedback on your experiences. You based future decisions on earlier ones. If something was exciting, you did it again. If it was less than exciting, you changed directions. The same applies today. You and your mate are fully capable of awakening your excitement for each other, but it will take trial and error, seeking experiences you both find pleasurable.

The Beauty of Love

by: Author Unknown, A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul

The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

The Importance of Keeping the Romance Alive in Your Relationship

Are you married or do you currently live with you partner? For many couples, marriage or cohabitation, often spells trouble for many relationships. While there are a number of different reasons for the cause of this common issue, it is often attributed to a lack of romance. To help you keep your relationship with your live-in partner or your husband going strong, it is important to keep the romance in your relationship alive.

As nice as it is to hear that you should keep the romance alive in your relationship, you may be wondering exactly how you should go about doing so. When creating romance in your relationship, it is important to know that not all couples are the same. For that reason, you may want to keep your partner’s wants, needs, or interests in mind. This is another key to having a happy and healthy relationship, compromise.

One of the best ways to keep romance alive in a relationship is actually quite a simple concept. That concept is affection. Unfortunately, many couples get into a groove where they just become comfortable with their daily life. This often leads many couples not to hold hands anymore, kiss, or even talk about their day. It is important that you do not let your relationship get to this point, as it often spells trouble. As much as possible, you will want to express your love and appreciation for your live-in partner or spouse, both in action and in words.

It is also important to get out of your house. As with showing affection, many couples, after a period of time, stop going out on dates. Whenever you have a free evening, you may want to consider going on a date. What is nice about dates is that just about any activity can be considered a date. For instance, you can go out to dinner, see a movie, or go have a few drinks at a local bar. All of these activities can be viewed as a date. Social interaction, both with each other and with other couples, is important to the health of a relationship. For that reason, you and your partner should get out and socialize.

As previously stated, a relationship is all about compromise. Compromise is also a way to keep the romance alive in your relationship. As compatible as you and you partner or spouse may be, you may still have a few differences. Often times, these differences show on date nights. When it comes to going on a date or just doing a simple activity with your partner, it is advised that you comprise as often as possible. This may include having alternate date nights. For instance, if your husband wanted to attend a baseball game, you can agree to do so, as long as he agrees to go the movies with you next time.

As outlined above, there are a number of different ways that you can go about keeping the romance alive in your relationship. As difficult as love and romance may seem, it is important that you put forth the extra effort. Not feeling enough support is an issue that the two of you can resolve, but divorce may not be. That is why it is important to not let it get to that point.

This article was shared to me by my friend.

The Importance of Regular Communication and How to Achieve It

Are you a woman who has a family that includes a romantic partner, spouse, or children? If you do, your life may be complicated at best. For many women, especially those who are trying to work and raise a family at the same time, a lot of issues arise. With relationships, one of those issues is often a lack of communication. If you and your partner are currently experiencing a lack of communication, this is a problem that you will want to try and fix as soon as possible.

One of the many reasons why it important for you to have an open line of communication with your partner is due to the elimination or reduction of misunderstandings. While it is common for many couples to fight and occasionally even on a regular basis, you may be surprised to learn just how many arguments are attributed to miscommunication. By having an open line of communication with your romantic partner, you are less likely to experience these types of arguments or disagreements. In terms of your relationship, an open line of communication may actually help to keep it alive.

As important as it is to understand the importance of having an open line of communication with your family, namely your spouse or your romantic partner, you may be looking for ideas on how to do so. What you may not realize is that there are actually an unlimited number of ways that you can go about regularly communicating with your partner, no matter what the issue. A few of those ways are outlined below for your convenience.

One of the best times to communicate with your partner is at the dinner table. If you aren’t currently eating dinner altogether, as a family, this is another issue that should be addressed. Due to hectic schedules, it is common for some families to eat apart at mealtime, but it shouldn’t be happening each and every night. When sitting down to eat with your spouse or live-in partner, you can discuss important issues, like upcoming social events you would like to attend, money, or even just discuss how each other’s day went. This simple form of communication is one that can do wonders for your relationship.

Although it is important to communicate with your family, particularly your partner, on a daily basis in person, in person contact isn’t always permitted. With busy schedules, different work hours, or overtime, it may seem as if you never get the opportunity to spend quality time with your spouse or your romantic partner. If that is the case, you may feel that regular communication is just hopeless. While it may seem that way, it doesn’t have to be. If you are able to communicate with your partner through hand written notes, emails, or cell phone calls, it is advised that you do so, especially if you have an important message that needs to be passed on to them.

The above motioned tips are just a few of the many tips that you can use to help you and your partner, whether your partner be just a live-in romantic partner or your husband, keep an open line of communication. An open line of communication allows you to discuss any important issues that arise, as well as prevent other harmful issues from developing.

This article was shared to me by my friend.

Why Are Men So Afraid of I LOVE YOU?

Why Are Men So Afraid of I LOVE YOU? Watch this video:

Why Are Men So Afraid of I LOVE YOU?

Being Emotionally Available for Love

by Dr. David Hawkins- The Relationship Doctor

With the numbers of singles, and single-again, swelling, more and more people are bouncing in and out of relationships, including marriage, apparently learning little from mistakes in the past. Having been hurt, again and again, many are ready to resign their dating membership, withdraw their ad, abandon their Single’s groups and settle into the easy comfort of their apartment with a bowl of popcorn and a plasma TV.

Why are singles retreating at increasing rates from the Dating Scene? What’s going wrong, and how can we fix it? In a sentence—we haven’t learned how to date smart, which includes being completely ready to date in the first place.

One of the first tasks of any serious dater is to determine if they and their date is really emotionally ready and available for love. This is no easy task, since most feel eager for a relationship.

Any of you who have dated in recent years know there is a vast difference between those with “the urge to merge,” those hidden behind a brick wall of distance and deception, who are scared to death to let themselves be vulnerable at all in a relationship, and those emotionally and spiritually ready for transparency and love.

But, how can you discern the difference? This is the critical question.

One recent response to our Message Board voices some of these concerns:

I have been in several relationships that I just ended abruptly. Each of them said that I am not willing to give enough to make the relationship work. I am very afraid of getting hurt, that is why I do not want to go too far. But now I realize the fact that I can not go on for long like this. How do I know when to let go and love someone freely and stop thinking from the beginning how bad I will feel if the relationship does not work? I am really confused and want to know how I can change things for the better.”

Sadly, this writer is experiencing many of the concerns typical of those seeking a love relationship. Let’s explore some of your concerns, expanded upon in my forthcoming book, Are You Really Ready for Love?, and what you can do to protect yourself from future hurt.

First, listen carefully to the feedback you’re receiving. Anytime we get a message over and over, from multiple sources, there’s a good chance there’s some truth in those messages. In your case, they’re saying you don’t give enough, and you add that you’re afraid of being hurt. I suggest participating in counseling to explore old unresolved hurts that may be hampering your willingness to take risks in dating.

Second, guard yourself from the urge to merge. Having gotten out of a serious relationship, and still reeling from pain, many rush into a new relationship with the hope of anesthetizing their pain by entering into a new, euphoric love relationship. The problem is, every time a relationship ends, we need to take time not only to grieve that loss, understanding what went wrong and what to learn from it. Go slowly, allowing the experience to impact you.

Third, it is natural to fear being hurt, but these risks can be managed with good judgment and discernment. Each of us needs to be an astute judge of character. When we trust and untrustworthy individual, we’re likely to get hurt. But, we can learn to trust only trustworthy people. This is the way any of us know how much of ourselves to share with another. Can they be trusted with our words, our emotions, our love? The old principle, test, trust, test, trust, applies to each of our lives.

Fourth, after discerning who can be trusted, by judging their character, we take risks. In every relationship we take the risk of being hurt, knowing we can minimize those risks, and also knowing the incredible payoffs when we find someone worthy of sharing our lives with. When we refuse to take risks, we remain safe, but painfully alone.

Finally, as you work on healing old wounds, developing a good judge of character, and a willingness to take risks, you’re probably prepared to enter the dating arena. Being really ready for love means you’ve done your work, are emotionally and spiritually stable, and know what you’re looking for in a date. Additionally, you’ve prepared yourself to be an attractive date yourself.

Entering into the arena of dating and love involves risks—but these risks can be managed. We don’t have to blindly enter a dating relationship, crossing our fingers and hoping we don’t get hurt. As we prepare ourselves, growing stronger and wiser, we gain self-confidence and trust that God will guide us through this challenging, yet exciting journey of our lives.

Love Advice: Spice up your marriage

Time to spice up your marriage?Starting to feel some withdrawal when it comes to some quality loving from your partner? You need not fret, get some free love advice and you will do fine.

There are loads of things that you can do to spice up your marriage and it doesn't have to be completely grand and extravagant. All you need is some creativity on both your sides and you're sure to have some good times together. Here's some free love advice that you can do.

One way to spice up your marriage is to do all your ordinary chores and activities into the next level of sexiness.Introduce a little innuendo in your activities and make sure that your partner is tuned into you.

Discover the kitchen

You could be cooking and you can touch, stroke and do all sorts of things with the stuff found in your kitchen. A table could be very useful. More so, getting into activities together, such as cooking, can be a very sensual experience. When you engage all your senses, making you and your partner aware of each other, you're already creating the platform for more fun and sexy times later.

Groom

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to let yourself go. Clean up by brushing your hair, maybe even getting a new haircut, or change your body wash, and even take care with the clothes that you wear. Remember that keeping the attention of someone hinges on their awareness of you. To make them aware of you, you'll have to distinguish yourself by taking care of your person.

Touch

Touching is very important in relationships. Humans are primarily tactile creatures. It reinforces care and the bonds of love. Always give hugs and kisses, stroke your partner's nape and hair, and as cheesy as it may come, hold hands. Some free love advice may just about cost you a lot of money by buying into miracle cures and drugs, but getting back into basics can go a long way because it will remind both of you with the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.

Act like teenagers

Nobody is too old to be cuddly and romantic. Fool around and be adventurous when it comes to trying new things. Try eating foods that are known to be aphrodisiacs like oysters and chocolates. You can try doing some partner yoga which will help you both become limber and make the sex longer and hotter.

Speaking of the previous, sex

Sex is always important in a relationship. Sex reinforces relationships and also makes marriages fun and romantic. The advantage of being in a married state is that you're both in a place where you can appreciate intimacy in its purest form. You can spice up your marriage by trying different positions and adding some measure of kinky in your sex life. Games and role playing can be very arousing.

These are just some free love advice that you can do on your own.

If you agree with your partner to invent new games in your bedroom your relationship will reach a higher level and you both will create the best relationship ever.

Get more Free Love Advice from Wessley Monroe.

The Five Love Languages Book

In this book "The Five Love Languages," Dr. Chapman teaches you the different languages of love and how to use them to better your relationships with everyone you meet. 

Here's an excerpt:

Chapter One

What Happens to Love After the Wedding?

At 30,000 feet, somewhere between Buffalo and Dallas, he puts his magazine in his seat pocket, turned in my direction and asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

“I do marriage counseling and lead marriage enrichment seminars,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I’ve been wanting to ask someone this for a long time,” he said. “What happens to the love after you get married?”

Relinquishing my hopes of getting a nap, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he said, “I’ve been married three times, and each time, it was wonderful before we got married, but somehow after the wedding it fell apart. All the love I thought I had for her and the love she seemed to have for me evaporated. I am a fairly intelligent person. I operate a successful business, but I don’t understand it.”

“How long were you married?” I asked.

“The first one lasted about ten years. The second time, we were married three years, and the last one, almost six years.”

“Did your love evaporate immediately after the wedding, or was it a gradual loss?” I inquired.

“Well, the second one went wrong from the very beginning. I don’t know what happened. I really thought we loved each other, but the honeymoon was a disaster, and we never recovered. We only dated six months. It was a whirlwind romance. It was really exciting! But after the marriage, it was a battle from the beginning.

“In my first marriage, we had three or four good year before the baby came. After the baby was born, I felt like she gave her attention to the baby and I no longer mattered. It was as if her one goal in life was to have a baby, and after the baby, she no longer needed me.”

“Did you tell her that?” I asked.

“Oh, yes, I told her. She said I was crazy. She said I did not understand the stress of being a twenty-four-hour-nurse. She said I should be more understanding and help her more. I really tried, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. After that, we just grew further apart. After a while, there was no love left, just deadness. Both of us agreed that the marriage was over.

“My last marriage? I really thought that one would be different. I had been divorced for three years. We dated each other for two years. I really thought we knew what we were doing, and I thought that perhaps for the first time I really knew what it meant to love someone. I genuinely felt that she loved me.

“After the wedding, I don’t think I changed. I continued to express love to her as I had before marriage. I told her how beautiful she was. I told her how much I loved her. I told her how proud I was to be her husband. But a few months after marriage, she started complaining; about petty things at first—like my not taking the garbage out or not hanging up my clothes. Later, she went to attacking my character, telling me that she didn’t feel she could trust me, accusing me of not being faithful to her. She became a totally negative person. Before marriage, she was never negative. She was one of the most positive people I have ever met. That is on of the things that attracted me to her. She never complained about anything. Everything I did was wonderful, but once we were married, it seemed I could do nothing right. I honestly don’t know what happened. Eventually, I lost my love for her and began to resent her. She obviously had no love for me. We agreed there was no benefit to our living together any longer, so we split.

Read the rest of this entry....

Things you need to know to make a guy love you

Do you want to make a guy love you? Well, I'm not an expert when it comes to this but i'm always ready to learn  the things i need to know in order to make it happen. I'm fond of reading helpful tips and resources about love, relationships and marriage and i want to use this blog to share those things.

So now are you ready to do something to make a guy love you?  below are the things all women need to know.

Be Happy. While it is often hard for women to be happy when they are single it is very important in making yourself appealing to men. Fill your life with people you like and activities you enjoy doing so that you have lots of things around you that make you feel good. When you meet a guy you want to love you then let him take a part, but not center stage. This way you will be a happier person and you are more likely to be seen as someone who is good to be around.

Let Your Inner Beauty Shine. Physical beauty is short lived and doesn't always come with a great deal of inner beauty. However, you can continue to work on your inner beauty and make it into something deep and special. You want to work on having confidence, being a good person, and being fun and pleasant to be around. It is also a good idea to work on other aspects of your inner self such as positive thinking, procrastination, and so on. Getting a few self help books can be a great deal of help.

Provide For Yourself. While it isn't easy you need to work on being self sufficient. This way you will look like a strong addition to his household rather than weak and like someone who is going to live off of him. He is less likely to fear for his future and for his wallet if you work on meeting your own needs.

You need to be happy, let your inner beauty shine, and provide for yourself. When you do these three things you will find you can make a guy love you easily because you will have all the traits he is looking for and more. Then with a bit of patience you can catch the guy of your dreams.

Thanks to Tina Jones of Unforgettable Woman Advice for these tips.