How to play this game? First the players create a penguin, waddle around the island of Club Penguin, and engage in a variety of fun and imaginative activities. Players can chat, send greeting cards, use emotes (emotion icons) or choose from a set of pre-defined actions such as waving or dancing. Users can also play games to earn virtual coins which can be used to buy clothing and accessories or furniture for their igloo. New content, such as games and theme parties, is added every week.
. On Club Penguin, children practice reading, develop keyboarding skills and participate in creative role playing. By accumulating and spending virtual coins earned through game play kids practice math and learn about money management. There's also Club Penguin secret agent and tour guide programs, which help children develop important social skills while gaining a deeper understanding of their role as members of a community.
Ginger Plowman, author of the book No More Whining: Three Easy Steps to Whine-Free Living, children who whine in an attempt to get what they want lack healthy communication skills. Parents mustn’t blame the child for this behavior. Rather, they must understand that children whine simply because they are allowed to whine. Moms and dads who permit their children to whine (by ignoring or giving in) hinder them from learning to communicate appropriately, in a way that pleases God and brings happiness to all involved.
Children who use demanding forms of communication to express their wants and needs are in bondage to their emotions and lack of self-control. An enslaving addiction to whining does not make for a happy child. However, children who learn to communicate properly learn that self-control is a prerequisite for contentment, joy, and good living.
While parents agree that whining is an annoying and inappropriate form of communication, many simply do not know how to address it.
Scolding. According to the Bible, scolding is an angry response that will stir anger in the heart of your child: “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). A mom who responds to whining by yelling, “Stop that whining right now or you’re going to get it!” is training in anger and not modeling the self-control that she so desperately desires her child to learn. Correcting wrong behavior should never be an “I’ll show you” or a “Boy, you’re going to get it now” mentality. It should be given with an attitude of “I love you too much to allow you to live an undisciplined life.”
Ignoring and/or Giving In. Parents have a responsibility to train their children in wisdom for daily living. When children whine, it should be viewed as a precious opportunity to train them in self-control, not as a frustrating moment of inconvenience for mom or dad. To ignore them is to shirk your responsibility to train them. To give in by granting them what they whine for, is to reward and reinforce wrong behavior.
The Bible teaches that wrong behavior is merely the outward manifestation of the real problem, which is the heart: “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34b). A wise parent will reach past the outward behavior and address the issue of the heart, which in the case of whining, is self-control. The Bible also teaches that parents are to bring their children up in the “training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This requires that we not only correct them for wrong behavior, but that we instruct them in right behavior. Therefore, we must take it a step further than merely telling them not to whine. We must teach them to communicate with self-control.
Step One. Ask your child if he is speaking with a self-controlled voice. You might ask, “Sweetheart, are you asking Mommy for juice with a self-controlled voice?” You might add, “Mommy will never give you what you want when you whine. God wants you to use self-control, even with your voice.”
Step Two. Explain that it is love that motivates you to train him. You might say, “Honey, I love you too much to allow you to speak foolishly. Here’s what Mommy is going to do to help you learn self-control. You may wear the 'No Whine Watch', and when the buzzer goes off in three minutes, you may come back and ask for juice the right way.”
Step Three. Follow through. When the buzzer goes off, have the child come back and ask for juice with a self-controlled voice. It may be necessary to demonstrate the correct way to speak to help your child along. In doing this you are correcting him for wrong, and more important, training him in what is right.
If the child refuses to come back and ask the right way, perhaps deciding that he doesn’t want the juice after all, don’t force him to come back when the buzzer goes off, as that can encourage a power struggle. Simply don’t offer the juice and let it go. However, the next time he does ask for juice (or something else) in a whiney voice, repeat steps one through three again.
Be consistent in training, never give in to whining, and follow through with this plan each and every time an opportunity presents itself, and you’ll have a whine-free life (and a more joyful, self-controlled child) before you know it!Last Saturday we went to Walter Mart to buy school shoes for my daughter. Actually we’ve been there many times, we keep coming back because we can’t find one that fits her big feet! It was hard because her feet are too big for her age. She’s only 11 years old but her feet is 9” Last Wednesday the sales lady just told us to come back on Saturday because new stocks will arrive. Luckily new stocks did arrive, we were able to buy a new school shoes for her. Just in time for the opening of classes.
1. Trust earns you the right to be heard. Isn't "your right" already guaranteed simply because you're a parent? It should be, but in the real world it isn't. Your teens are focused on the here and now. They're probably not thinking about all the sacrifices you've made for them through the years or even how much you love them. But they will, almost instantaneously, recall the "injustices" you've caused: your "countless" broken promises, the times you blamed them for things they insisted they didn't do, days when you were "too busy." While perfect parenthood should never be your goal, it is important to build trust by earning the right to be heard.
2. Your attention builds trust. Teens know that love shown by parents says, "Your life is important, daughter (or son), and I'm going to give you my time." Spend time with them, show them you will listen and talk and work things out together. Invade their world ... and let them invade yours.
3. Breathing room = trust. Invading their world should be balanced with plenty of space. Invading their world doesn't mean you continually nose into their business. Teens need room to grow, to make their own decisions. This is crucial for their development into responsible adults.
4. Watch what you say and how you say it. The best intentions in the world can backfire if you use the wrong words. Phrases like "You never," "You always," "You don't ever" sound accusing and can cause your teen to become defensive and ultimately to shut down. When you speak, stress your particular wants and feelings by using "I." For example, saying, "I want" or "I feel" are effective places to begin.
5. Take interest in what your teen has to say. A few years back, a TV talk show on parent-teen relations confirmed the need for parents to take a stronger interest in their kids. Teen after teen shared stories of heartache about life at home with parents who were out of touch with their kids. As the show ended, the host asked the audience for their comments. A 14-year-old boy stood with his mother and shared these words with a national TV audience: "This is my mom. She knows me." You can close the gap by taking a genuine interest in your teen and his or her world. Tune into feelings and try to look at events at home or at school from your teen's point of view, as well as your own. If your teen senses that you don't really understand or care, he or she will stop listening to you. But when you're clearly doing your best to understand, the chances are much greater that your teen will tune in to you.
6. Learn to listen. One of the biggest complaints I've heard from teenagers is that their parents just don't listen. "My parents don't understand me." "We can't seem to communicate." "Things could be better if they'd just give me a chance - and listen!".
7. Control your anger. Many parents fail to acknowledge the extent of their anger. What's more, the parents expect their teenager to exhibit a maturity level that he or she has not yet attained. A father may harshly command his teen, "You will not speak to me that way. That is disrespectful, and I won't put up with it." The teen walks away and the father has "won" the argument. Yet the father has exhibited the very behavior that he does not allow his teen to show.
Listening is the only constructive way to process anger. As you become a better listener, your teen will begin to feel understood. He or she may not agree with you but will respect you because you have treated him or her as a person. Your teen will be more inclined to follow your leadership.
8. Be flexible. It's easy to approach your teens with tunnel vision. You know what you want and that's all you see. Unfortunately, tunnel vision will make you completely unaware of the needs of your teen. And that's how many family arguments get started - with people screaming demands at each other, blind to the needs of the others involved.
9. Make "shared meaning" your goal. If you're tired of pointless arguments with your teenager that never seem to accomplish anything - except maybe your blood pressure rising and him or her being grounded - try a communication style called shared meaning. The goal of shared meaning is to be heard accurately. And once you've had a chance to state your case and listen to your teen's perspective, the foundation is set for communication - and for a fair solution to what's bugging you.
